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Thursday, February 7, 2013

Human Pinchusion

So yesterday was an interesting day. I decided to try acupuncture for the first time. It's the last non-invasive treatment I can find for my back pain, so I figured what the hell might as well. Went in there with an open mind. Like all my other treatments it's a 50/50 shot of whether it works or not. Everyone's body reacts differently so I kept my expectations low, like I always do. I like the idea of acupuncture because it's a holistic treatment. I've been on so many medications and I like the idea of trying to use a more natural approach instead.

I go in and I'm waiting for her to bring me back into one of the rooms. Nice lady who I will soon learn has gentle hands. I go in the room and explain my issues to her and the first words out of her mouth are "Take off your pants and cover yourself with the towel." Okay time to strip! And then it dawns on me that I didn't prepare my body to be viewed by a stranger. Sure I knew in my head clothes would be shed. But that thought didn't cross my mind when I was getting ready. No lotion on my legs so they look like a desert. Haven't shaved the legs in a couple months for two reasons. #1. It is a pain in the butt to maneuver around and try to shave my legs considering how it aggravates my back. So I don't do it unless I have to. #2. Dude it's winter time NO ONE is going to see my legs anytime soon! Well okay the boyfriend will when I'm getting ready for bed, but as long as he doesn't complain I see no need.

"Why don't you wax your legs?" you say......well see cause that HURTS SOOOO MUCH! Last summer I decided to buy one of those home kits and see if I could handle getting my legs waxed before I go spend a chunk of money having a professional do it. OH.MY......the pain was not prepared for the pain. That was after doing one strip, just one. And of course I couldn't just leave my legs unfinished, so I put on my big girl panties and finished waxing my legs. I probably should drank some tequila first.

Anyways, so I'm laying there with the towel on me feeling a little self-conscious, and she comes back to start. I'm sure she's seen worse than my ashy legs though. First she tells me she needs to do something called bleeding to help the circulation in my calves. Which involved her pricking me to get a drop of blood to come out. Then I hear a lighter and then this thing gets put on my calf and it's stuck to me. Another lighter flick and another thing put on my other calf, and I'm laying there feeling this things stuck to me. Apparently that's called cupping and it's supposed to help draw out the stagnant blood and help circulation. Yeeahh that was weird! When she was done with the cupping she stuck 8 of those acupuncture needles in different parts of my body and left me to lay there for half an hour. Needles didn't hurt which was nice, just felt like having a hair tweezed. The whole time I'm laying there all I could think of was the part in Final Destination (don't remember what number but it was the last one) where the guy goes to get acupuncture and dies. All in all it was an interesting experience, and I have 19 more treatments.......well back to my down one to go and then I'll be back :-D

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