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Thursday, December 13, 2012

Zombie Apocalypse Training for 9 yr olds

Now I like to think of myself as doing all I can to prepare my niece for the world. My methods may seem a little unorthodox, but hey I think they're effective. So here's what happened:

I'm a huge fan of the TV show The Walking Dead. My best friend just started watching it last night. At some point my niece came into the living room while my best friend's daughter and I were making zombie noises. Before I continue I have to preface my next statement with this "my niece doesn't handle scary very well." Now that I've said that let's move on. So we're in the living room making zombie noises and she comes out to find out what's going on. When somebody's making zombie noises it's a little less freaky when they're standing right in front of you. So she laughed and played along and pretended like she was running away. She'd wait a second then creep up towards me when she thought my back was turned. Then I'd do my zombie thing again and she'd laugh and run away.

Warning: violent subject matters ahead!

A little while later I'm on my way to the bathroom and I decide to peek my head in the doorway and make zombie noises. Completely forgetting about the fact that she doesn't do scary. So I slither in in full zombie mode and she goes ballistic. Insert screeching little girl with a doll high chair in her hands perched on the bed trying to defend herself from zombie aunt. Yeeaahhh not the best idea I've ever had but at least I stopped at the doorway and didn't go further in because I think she would've whacked me. No scratch that I know for a fact she would've whacked me in the gut with her doll's high chair. And she would've been in the right for defending herself because for that moment she thought her aunt was a zombie.

So if I teach you all nothing else readers: Don't play zombie apocalypse with your 9 year old niece! That's how people get busted in the gut with a high chair.

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